terms

It's been a while between posts, and in keeping this sort of online running dialogue, I wonder at times what is the best stuff to post? Which occurrences during my days warrant rendering here? The other night on the news it was mentioned that the majority of bloggers are under thirty, and most tended to blog about their personal lives. I'm not actually sure what all I am willing to give up here, what I find fit for public consumption, and what would even interest others. Which is sort of comical considering writing is what I do, what I've always wanted.

I stumbled into poetry by accident; a friend suggested I take a workshop and I did. It was an immediate and irrevocable addiction. Poetry makes so much sense that it is hard to recall a time when I didn't revolve my life around it. I'm not a disciplined writer by any means though. I don't have a set time to write, and when I do make time I wind up staring at a blank screen. I write prolifically when I am busy with ten other important things to do. The best lines come to me when I am driving. When I first started workshop I was still working full time as a secretary, doing school part time. I wrote furiously during work hours, managing phone lines and all the other myriad distractions with gusto. It was intoxicating.

I leave in 17 days to begin an MFA program. I am excited at the thought of once again being busy, but this time, on my own turf. No more heinous math courses or dealing with a truly wonderful but hopelessly misguided environmental science professor who wanted to "put the math back in science" (doesn't he know that we major/minor in environmental science precisely to avoid the math?!?!?!), or useless classes that make one want to fall asleep.

I am slowly coming to terms with leaving. I find myself with attachments all over the place though, even new ones, and it is hard to actually envision the morning when I will wake up at an obscenely early hour, and head to the rented truck, and take off. I'll have eight hours to negotiate deals with myself about my mood and give in to the calling I have let so much in my personal life suffer for. And it's fine actually.

At this moment it is everything I need.